Of Gastronomy and Guns

Of Gastronomy and Guns

Commentary by Sanford D. Horn

January 22, 2013

Shortly upon his second coronation, King Barack, Queen Michelle and a band of Congressional minions adjourned to Statuary Hall where they dined on lobster, clam chowder sauce, bison, apple pie a la mode and other delights.*

I mentioned this to an ultra-liberal friend of mine who was basking in the glory of the day, January 21, who simply responded, “They’re entitled.” Hmm. That seems to sum up the entire attitude of this administration and all who fawn in its wake.

My point was not in the largesse of the meal. I couldn’t care less what the Obamas and members of Congress eat – so long as I am not paying for it, which, of course, on that day I, along with the rest of you were footing the bill. My point is, the over 3,000 calorie gastronomical feast on which they gorged demonstrates the continued hypocrisy of this administration, specifically Queen Michelle who has been hell bent on mandating a national diet for the rank and file – obese or not.

And after Mrs. Obama ordered us to eat our peas, there was no such legume on the inaugural luncheon menu.

As with so many aspects of this administration, it’s do as we say, not as we do. This edict can be applied to the Obama philosophy on guns.

While it is perfectly acceptable, and it is, for Obama’s daughters to be protected by armed guards, he does not want the rest of America’s children to enjoy the same security. Since the horrors of Sandy Hook in December there has been a cacophony calling for increased gun control as a knee-jerk reaction from the left.

Limiting the rights, as provided by the Second Amendment of the United States Constitution, will only put innocent people in grave danger, not make them safer.

“Why don’t we stop the bad guy from getting the gun in the first place,” declared Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY), showing his abject naïveté. Is Schumer serious? Additional gun laws will stop criminals? Welcome to the Land of Oz, Senator.

The more people are armed, the less likely they will become victims.

On January 16 Obama signed 23 Executive Orders pertaining to guns and gun ownership bypassing Congress. I seem to recall a war for independence being fought (1775-83) to rid ourselves of the despotic and tyrannical rule of a monarch, King George III.

Why not enforce the hundreds, if not thousands of gun laws already on the books both federally as well as within the 50 states? No, that would be too practical and not feed the paranoia of the left if “all” the government did was work within the system already in place. Instead, the federal government needs to put on a show – replete with Obama photos supposedly skeet shooting. I’d sooner trust former VP Dick Cheney with a gun than Obama.

Arm schools at the front doors as we arm banks protecting our most important assets – our children, as we do our monetary assets. Protect the children of Mr. and Mrs. Main Street as we do Mr. and Mrs. Obama.

Bottom line, stripping away the Second Amendment to the Constitution one rifle, pistol, or handgun at a time will eventually ensure that all other amendments are stripped away, ending the democratic-republic as we once knew it.

*Inauguration Day Menu

First Course: Steamed Lobster with New England Clam Chowder Sauce
Lobster Tails
New England Clam Chowder Sauce
Sautéed Spinach
Sweet Potato Hay

Per Serving: Calories 783, Fat 45.7g, Saturated Fat 16g, Cholesterol 247 mg, Sodium 1819 mg, Carbohydrates 55g, Dietary Fiber 7.5g, Sugar 14g, Protein 29g

Second Course: Hickory Grilled Bison with Red Potato Horseradish Cake and Wild Huckleberry Reduction
Bison
Butternut Squash Puree
Baby Golden Beets and Green Beans
Red Potato Horseradish Cake
Strawberry Preserve and Red Cabbage
Wild Huckleberry Reduction

Per Serving: Calories 1184, Fat 34.6g, Saturated Fat 16g, Cholesterol 177mg, Sodium 7445mg, Carbohydrates, 149g, Dietary Fiber 16.7, Sugar 97.2g, Protein 51g

Third Course: Hudson Valley Apple Pie with Sour Cream Ice Cream, Aged Cheese and Honey
Pie Dough
Cinnamon Crumble
Apples
Sour Cream Ice Cream
Maple Caramel Sauce
Garnish
Artisan Cheeses

Per Serving: Calories 1060, Fat 64.4g, Saturated Fat 39g, Cholesterol 331mg, Sodium 488mg, Carbohydrates, 108.5g, Dietary Fiber 1.7g, Sugar 75g, Protein 14g

Total Nutritional Counts (not including wine pairing): Calories 3027, Fat 145 g, Saturated Fat 71g (49% of fat), Sodium 9752 mg, Total Carbs 312.5g, Sugar 186.2g (59% of carbs)

Sanford D. Horn is a writer and educator living in Westfield, IN.

No Christmas Cheer at Mark Pi's

No Christmas Cheer at Mark Pi’s

Commentary by Sanford D. Horn

December 27, 2012

To enter the service and culinary gates of hell, visit Mark Pi’s China Gate and Sushi Bar on North Meridian Street in Carmel.

Surly to bed and surly to rise should be the philosophy of the management and wait staff at Mark Pi’s who did themselves a disservice by remaining open on Christmas.

For openers, there was the waitress who at first appeared to want to take our order, but while we briefly deliberated over a particular menu item, turned and walked away not to return for several  minutes. On her next attempt at taking our order she directed her attention to a neighboring table. When asked if she was planning on taking our order, she snapped that she was busy and seemed irritated that we dared to bother her.

Several minutes later the waitress brought me my Miso soup, slamming it down on the table to the shock of the four of us, and with such force that enough soup flew out of the bowl to fill the bottom of the saucer. She also forcefully dropped the four empty plates on the table as though they were radioactive.

Clearly by the look on my face the waitress knew she was in the wrong, took my soup away, and brought back a fresh one that remained in the bowl along with an apology.

Next up were the Spring Rolls – six on a plate, each roughly the size of a wine bottle neck. Tasteless and greasy at best; devoid of any nutritional value.

Bring on the entrees, bring on the spice. I ordered the Classic Hunan which as advertised is spicy hot, but as food is supposedly made to order, I specifically requested non-spicy. One bite and I was reminded of a Bobby Slayton stand-up bit eating spicy Chinese – “head on fire!” More chili peppers than a Santa Fe ranch. Back it goes. Second attempt was better, but there should not have been a need for a second attempt if the server was doing her job and looking at the actual plate prior to serving it.

Then there was the Pad Thai – or should I say the Pad the bill Thai. Two orders of Pad Thai proving that all dishes are not created equally. Both were ordered with chicken (at an additional charge, no less) and while one was appropriately prepared, the other may have had two minute pieces of something resembling poultry. Back it went, this time with an exasperated waitress. Clearly, sifting through the dish, it was painfully obvious that the restaurant was trying to rip us off.

But adding to the culinary cacophony was the speed by which the waitress brought the bill – two of us were barely halfway through our entrees and she made us feel a part of the Indy 500. The four of us agreed we had not felt this rushed in ages.

And adding insult to injury was the insolent attitude of the manager who couldn’t be less patient listening to our legitimate concerns – concerns that when addressed properly would make future patrons’ visits more enjoyable than ours. This manager, said his last name was Wang, claimed not to have fielded a complaint in his 30-plus years in the restaurant business – a virtual impossibility.

Needless to say, a fine time was not had by all as this was the first and last visit to Mark Pi’s in Carmel. I am happy to furnish a copy of this review to their corporate office in Columbus, OH.

Sanford D. Horn is a writer and educator living in Westfield, IN. He has enjoyed fine Chinese cuisine and service in New York City’s Chinatown, NJ, Washington, DC and Chicago among other locales.

Crying Fowl over Free Speech

Crying Fowl over Free Speech
Commentary by Sanford D. Horn
August 4, 2012

It’s not about Chick-fil-A. Chick-fil-A is merely the conduit to a larger dust-up – that of the First Amendment right of free speech and the denial by fascist mayors of legal institutions to conduct business in “their” cities.

The backstory is about Chick-fil-A and its president, Dan Cathy, expressing an opinion early in July that marriage is a Biblically-based institution and his commitment to marriage being a man-woman union sanctified by G-d.

“We are very much supportive of the family – the Biblical definition of the family unit,” said Cathy in an interview with the Baptist Press, according to commentator Cal Thomas in his July 29 editorial “Chickening out on free speech.”

That quote was widely unnoticed for several weeks until it was “discovered” that Cathy and Chick-fil-A contributes financially to conservative organizations such as the Family Research Council. As if Chick-fil-A’s conservative credentials were ever in question. After all, the 1,615-plus-restaurant chain, headquartered in Atlanta, and spread liberally throughout the Bible Belt has been closed on Sundays since its inception in 1967.

However, once the homosexual lobby and liberal media determined that Cathy shouldn’t contribute money his company earned to organizations of his choosing, the culture war entered yet another front.

The liberal mayors of liberal cities Boston, Chicago, San Francisco, and Washington, DC – yes, that’s two liberals in the same sentence, three if you count this one, but those mayors and cities are just that far to the left, have vowed to keep Chick-fil-A out of “their” cities.

“Chick-fil-A values are not Chicago values,” said Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel, in support of a city alderman who declared he will block any proposed Chick-fil-A in his district.

Yes, Chicago values include murders on an almost daily basis, illegal drugs as available as aspirin, out of wedlock birth reaching epidemic proportions and a public school system on the verge of imploding.

“There is no place for discrimination on Boston’s Freedom Trail and no place for your company alongside it,” wrote Boston Mayor Thomas Menino to Cathy.

Chick-fil-A is not discriminating against any group. All paying customers are welcome – gay, straight, black, white, yellow, brown.

Additionally, in what could be viewed as a threatening tweet, San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee wrote that “the closest Chick-fil-A to San Francisco is 40 miles away, and I strongly recommend that they not try to come any closer.”

The words of those mayors smacks of fascism. Yes, fascism, because they are single-handedly attempting to thwart potential efforts of a legal enterprise to conduct business in cities where all they need do is apply for the proper permits through the city departments that handle such applications. As in most typical American cities, mayors serve alongside a city council and all members have but a single vote.

In the case of Emanuel, his brand of hypocrisy goes pretty deep. As chief of staff under the Barack Obama administration that was opposed to gay marriage, Emanuel did not stand on principles and resign his position.

Now that Emanuel has come out of the closet in favor of gay marriage, is it only restaurants he opposes? Why has he not spoken out against the virulently anti-Semitic and anti-gay Louis Farrakhan who is negotiating with the city to help reduce the out of control homicide rate? Farrakhan is OK, but Cathy is not?

Reverend William Owens of the Coalition of African-American Pastors declared his own and his organization’s fervent support of the Biblical definition of marriage a la Dan Cathy and there has not been a single word of protest against the Pastors group. They have as much right to opine on this or any other issue as does Cathy without recrimination, threats of boycotts or threats of being barred from an entire city.

Are the economies in the cities of Boston, Chicago, San Francisco, and Washington, DC thriving to such an extent that their mayors can afford to turn away business? And steady, stable, popular business at that. In fact, franchisees are local owners, not a corporate executive. Chick-fil-A hires thousands and thousands of people, serves thousands and thousands of people regardless of race, creed, or religious affiliation.

This is not about chicken, but about standing up for one’s rights as people of faith. Recently, Catholics came under fire over the issue of free contraceptives being mandated by Obamacare. Now Christians are being harassed and bullied by so-called tolerant liberals – tolerant, of course only to their own opinions. And this is not just a Christian issue. Observant Jews also subscribe to the Biblical view and definition of marriage.

This is an issue of freedom of speech, something guaranteed in the First Amendment of the United States Constitution. Cathy has the right to opine on his belief of the definition of marriage. The mayors of the aforementioned cities have their rights of free speech as well, but they do not have the right to deny commerce opportunities to businesses with whose owners they disagree politically and religiously.

There is a fundamental difference between liberals and conservatives. When liberals don’t agree with a business or television or radio program, they call for it to be shut down or cancelled so no one has access to it. When conservatives do not like a business or media program, they simply patronize another business or change the channel. They believe in the rights of businesses to conduct business and for people to enjoy their First Amendment rights.

No one seems to be calling for the elimination of Starbucks, Apple, or Amazon – all of whose owners contribute substantially to gay causes. If someone finds Howard Schultz’s contributions to gay causes offensive, they are welcome to not patronize Starbucks.

Don’t agree with Cathy, don’t go to Chick-fil-A – it’s that simple, but you have no right to demand the business cease to exist. Go patronize a business with whom you do agree and contribute to their causes, or those of your own beliefs. Build up your causes, don’t tear down others’ causes.

But, if a statement is to be made to the mayors seeking to bar Chick-fil-A from their cities, how would they feel if conventions suddenly shifted from Chicago to Indianapolis, from Boston to Providence, and from San Francisco to Sacramento? What if people from all across the United States who shared Chick-fil-A values suddenly decided to take their vacation dollars away from the cities whose mayors said Chick-fil-A values are not Boston, Chicago, San Francisco, or Washington, DC values? Surely those cities would feel the bite and all the mayors would be left holding is an empty bag and ousting on Election Day.

As Chick-fil-A goes, so goes the nation. The company had its best single day in history on Wednesday, August 1, thanks to former Arkansas Governor and current Fox News Channel host Mike Huckabee, who called for that day to be Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day. Restaurants were filled with patrons lined up around blocks, corners, stores, waiting to support a business with which they share values or simply support the right of free speech, even when they may disagree with the values.

As a response, a “kiss-in” was held two days later. This was a plan for members of the homosexual community to arrive en masse at Chick-fil-As and demonstrate their objections to Cathy and his beliefs by kissing at the restaurants. Thousands were expected, yet mere dozens showed up, turning the kiss-in into a kiss-off.

Noting the huge turnout at Chick-fil-A, perhaps to ensure victory in November, Chick-fil-A should begin applying for permits to sell sandwiches at the polling places – of course provided they are the requisite distance from the entrance so as not to be accused of influencing voters. They make money and the voters have a snack while waiting to oust Obama. It's a brilliant combination of democracy and capitalism in action. Oh, and have an iced tea as well.

Sanford D. Horn is a writer and educator living in Westfield, IN.

Food, Glorious Slop

“FOOD FIGHT!” – John “Bluto” Blutarsky

Food, Glorious Slop

Commentary by Sanford D. Horn

February 16, 2012

The hypocrisy of the Obama administration continues to march on like the Nazis in 1939 Poland. This time they have invaded the lunch boxes of school children.

Thanks to government edicts from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA), the food police are inspecting the lunch boxes and brown bags to see if mom or dad has packed what government deems an appropriate midday repast.

Since when is a turkey and cheese sandwich, a banana, potato chips and apple juice an unacceptable lunch? Sounds like a good lunch to me – except for the turkey and cheese combo – but then I keep kosher, so either the turkey or the cheese would work independently.

Apparently in Hoke County, NC, such a lunch did not pass muster, as a four-year-old preschooler attending West Hoke Elementary School was terrorized by the food police being told her lunch was substandard while having a government-authorized school lunch thrust upon her. Terrorized, because a four-year-old is being told the lunch packed by mom is wrong.

Just what did the government determine was a better alternative for this four-year-old? Chicken nuggets – processed, battered, fried pieces of unidentifiable chicken parts. And adding insult to injury, the school sent the girl home with her original lunch in tact with a note telling mom she would also be charged $1.25 for the food forced upon her daughter. Apparently the mom-made lunch lacked vegetables, which was given to her daughter, was in turn were rejected.

The mother emphasized her daughter does not like vegetables, but under her supervision she can get the child to eat some. Yet, the lunch had fruit – a banana, which even my niece, when she was three-years-old, knew is high in potassium. And sliced turkey and cheese versus processed and fried chicken nuggets is a no-brainer as well.

Did the food police ever stop to contemplate potential allergies this four-year-old girl might have? Is a four-year-old equipped to tell the food police what she can’t eat or drink? Perhaps she was on a gluten-free diet – the sandwich eliminates that notion. Perhaps she was lactose intolerant – the food police gave her milk. Perhaps she observed kashrut – the turkey and cheese excludes that idea. Perhaps she has a nut allergy. What kind of oil were the chicken nuggets fried in – peanut, canola, vegetable?

Full disclosure, I was a foodie before the word existed. In fact, I was almost thrown out of junior high school as a seventh grader for authoring a petition against the school cafeteria food, calling it “slop.” My parents, both of Blessed memory, were called into school to meet with the principal due to my disruptive and scurrilous activities – I dared question authority.

My father wasn’t sure which tact to take – either kick my ass for having my parents summonsed to the principal’s office or congratulate me for using my First Amendment rights of speech and petition as taught to me at that very school.

It’s no wonder the following year in our eighth grade musical I was given “Food, Glorious Food,” from Oliver to sing throughout our three day run.

Having taught in urban public and charter schools, I can attest first hand to what is passing as school lunches. Fried, oil-laden, carb-rich offerings riddled with salt and sugary desserts. Sure there is some fruit – canned or fresh, but rarely consumed. One school at which I taught had a salad bar – but, alas, for teachers and staff only.

The invasion by the food police is just another sterling example of government overreaching into places it does not belong. Our freedoms are being eroded one by one and far too many Americans are standing idly by allowing their freedoms to be stripped away. This administration continues to count on ignorance and apathy in order to ensure full governmental control of our lives, from the bedroom to the board room and from the school house to G-d’s house.

We the people are ignorant because we do not know the law and the Constitution. We the people are apathetic because outside of our little corner of the world we realize how little control we have, and therefore we do not speak up.

Well, it’s high time we raise our voices in unison and tell the government to STOP. The Obama administration, nor any other administration, cannot spend our money better than we can. Nor can they make better food choices than we can. Nor can they tell us how to pray. And they certainly can’t raise our children better than we can.

This is an administration run by ultra-liberals who don’t want anyone peering into their bedrooms, or being asked for photo identification when voting, but they’re real quick to inspect children’s lunch boxes, tell us what light bulbs to use and what kind of cars to drive. Yet, this is the same Obama administration smashing the Constitution to smithereens by forcing religion-run institutions to violate their principles, and demanding under financial penalty that we the people must buy a product we may not want.

When will it end? If it does not end on November 6 this year, it may never end. If this regime is not turned out of office this year, we may not recognize this country in another four years. Certainly the Founding Fathers won’t; and that’s not hyperbole.

Now, before I enjoy my lunch of a turkey sandwich on a bagel, a banana, some b-b-q potato chips and a cup of green tea – don’t report me to the food police – I offer this quote from one of our great Founding Fathers, Patrick Henry:

“The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people; it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.”

Sanford D. Horn is a writer and educator living in Westfield, IN.

Jersey's Cafe - Not Worth the Wait

Jersey’s Café – Not Worth the Wait

Commentary by Sanford D. Horn

June 17, 2011

As a native of New Jersey, if you are thinking of dining out at Jersey’s Café in Carmel, I say, “fugetabout it.”

Hearing high praise about the small restaurant on North Meridian Street, I went last weekend for a slice of the Garden State and opted for take-out. While cognizant of the hour-plus wait for food, according to a sign on the door, there was no sign indicating one needn’t wait in line to place a to-go order. With only two groups of four in front of me, it was still a half hour before reaching the counter.

Upon reaching the counter, I had a menu-related question and the person to whom I was addressing walked away in mid-question, as did the next person. The reputation of the lousy Jersey attitude is most pervasive in this establishment and a good reason why I no longer live in NJ.

I eventually placed an order for a meatball sub and requested in simple, plain English that there not be any peppers in my meal. I was informed my wait time would be an hour and fifteen minutes.

I returned a few minutes prior to my food being ready so it wouldn’t sit waiting for me. Getting home in roughly 10 minutes, I opened my container to find three meatballs surrounded by sauce chock full of peppers atop the soggiest bread possible. The three meatballs were hard as rocks and dry as a bone, sauce notwithstanding – a virtually inedible meal.

Too tired to return that night, two days later, with receipt in tow, I spoke with Donna, a manager and explained my miserable experience. I specifically asked to speak with her away from the counter so our conversation would not be overheard. Donna took a defensive posture, telling me there have never been any complaints about the food or the service. (Yahoo.com has at least eight complaint stories lodged since April alone.)

Donna then said she wished there were something she could do for me. I said, there is, but you have chosen not to. As a manager, she could have done virtually anything to satisfy an unhappy customer – refund my money, offer me a fresh sandwich gratis, offer me a coupon/gift card for a future visit, etc.

She then said something that made me laugh – that she hoped I would come back again.

Not only will I not return to Jersey’s Café, but I hope this column will forewarn unsuspecting restaurant patrons to steer clear of an establishment that does not believe in customer service, does not believe the customer is right, cannot get orders correct or provide decent food.

Jersey’s Café is playing on their reputation that was enhanced by Guy Fieri on his Food Network program Diner, Drive-ins & Dives. To paraphrase Andy Warhol, for Jersey’s Café, their 15 minutes is over.  

Sanford D. Horn is an educator and writer living in Westfield, IN.